A meaningful life is one we live in concert with our values. The tough part is how to prioritize our values, sorting out how much time and energy we want—or are able—to give to each thing we cherish.
Thanks for this post, which I found very interesting. And I totally agree that happiness isn't a matter of goals or milestones that get achieved (though I've been guilty of those delusions). Work that I can lose myself in, and the company of the right people, are the closest I can get.
I am very guilty of my happiness depending on things like literary achievements. But then again, that is something I value.... it's interesting to do the exercises in the book because it asks me to come up with behaviors I can do today (or tomorrow) to live closer to a value (or two). (Sit down and write!) Anyway, I find it interesting to think about. So glad to see you here!
"[R]ather than pursuing happiness as a goal in its own right, instead we should aim to live a full and meaningful life and let happiness look after itself." Wow - thank you for sharing this. I really needed to hear it. When I am feeling most depressed, happiness feels like a concept that I will never experience. When I'm not feeling depressed, I rarely think about whether or not I'm happy. I've also discovered that sadness and depression are not the same thing - at least not for me. But for now, I'm focusing on all the positive things happening with my book. Your post has given me a lot to think about. Thank you!
I like the sound of this too! There's something solid and sustaining in not chasing feelings.
But I have doubts about the premise of living in concert with our self-determined values. I suspect the Hitlers of the world do that pretty successfully, and most of us wouldn't applaud the results. I haven't read the book though, so this comment might be misguided.
It's very difficult to live always in concert with our values. This book is not prescriptive or moralistic about what values to choose. It is merely (thus far) suggesting that when we try to behave in ways that align with our values, it can make us feel we are living a meaningful life. To us. Not to anyone else. (I don't think the intended audience is genocidal maniacs or serial killers!)
I'm so glad you find it useful - It felt a bit like a revelation to be able to release just "trying to be happy" rather than just focusing on leading the life I want.
So glad you started your Substack and I love the name!!! 😘
Thanks for this post, which I found very interesting. And I totally agree that happiness isn't a matter of goals or milestones that get achieved (though I've been guilty of those delusions). Work that I can lose myself in, and the company of the right people, are the closest I can get.
I am very guilty of my happiness depending on things like literary achievements. But then again, that is something I value.... it's interesting to do the exercises in the book because it asks me to come up with behaviors I can do today (or tomorrow) to live closer to a value (or two). (Sit down and write!) Anyway, I find it interesting to think about. So glad to see you here!
"[R]ather than pursuing happiness as a goal in its own right, instead we should aim to live a full and meaningful life and let happiness look after itself." Wow - thank you for sharing this. I really needed to hear it. When I am feeling most depressed, happiness feels like a concept that I will never experience. When I'm not feeling depressed, I rarely think about whether or not I'm happy. I've also discovered that sadness and depression are not the same thing - at least not for me. But for now, I'm focusing on all the positive things happening with my book. Your post has given me a lot to think about. Thank you!
I like the sound of this too! There's something solid and sustaining in not chasing feelings.
But I have doubts about the premise of living in concert with our self-determined values. I suspect the Hitlers of the world do that pretty successfully, and most of us wouldn't applaud the results. I haven't read the book though, so this comment might be misguided.
It's very difficult to live always in concert with our values. This book is not prescriptive or moralistic about what values to choose. It is merely (thus far) suggesting that when we try to behave in ways that align with our values, it can make us feel we are living a meaningful life. To us. Not to anyone else. (I don't think the intended audience is genocidal maniacs or serial killers!)
I'm so glad you find it useful - It felt a bit like a revelation to be able to release just "trying to be happy" rather than just focusing on leading the life I want.